Three Kinds

A family is at the dinner table. The son asks his father, "Dad, how many kinds of boobs are there? " The father, surprised, answers, "Well, son, there's three kinds of breasts. In her twenties, a woman's breasts are like melons, round and firm. In her thirties to forties, they are like pears, still nice but hanging a bit. After fifty, they are like onions. " "Onions? " asks the boy. "Yes," said the father, "you see them and they make you cry. " This infuriated his wife and daughter so the daughter said, "Mom, how many kinds of willies are there? " The mother, surprised, smiles and answers, "Well dear, a man goes through three phases. In his twenties, his willie is like an oak tree, mighty and hard. In his thirties and forties, it is a birch, flexible but still reliable. After his fifties, it is like an old Christmas tree. " "A Christmas tree? " "Yes, dead from the root up and the balls are for decoration only.